Games

Despite repeatedly saying that he would not direct Star Wars Episode VII: Absolutely Nothing to Do With Thrawn, Sorry , it was surprisingly announced yesterday that J.J. Abrams would, in fact, be directing the movie . "Okay, George. So the main bad guy is a billowing cloud of black smoke and Luke has to defeat him by running around the corner and sticking a plug in the ground." "Fine, but only if Jar-Jar's kids are in it. One of them can be a Jedi with dual-wielding lightsabres which he comically uses to smash up the scenery whenever the pace slackens." "Deal." Abrams had previously ruled himself out of contention, citing both his commitment to the new Star Trek movies for Paramount (Abrams's second Star Trek movie, Into Darkness , is out this year) and his overwhelming fandom of the Star Wars franchise preventing him from approaching a new film with the necessary detachment. Clearly these issues have been overcome, with Abrams agreeing to prod...

Peter Jackson and his producing partners have announced that their two-film adaptation of The Hobbit will be stretched to three films. Jackson had filmed a lot of material for the two movies which will have to be cut out due to time. After discussions with the studio, this material will be combined with new material (filmed early next year) to turn The Hobbit into a trilogy. "Guys, it's the script for The Hobbit III: Fifty Shades of Gandalf the Grey . You do not want to know what Galadriel is doing with that elven rope in this scene." At the moment it is believed that the first two movies will retain their titles of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and The Hobbit: There and Back Again , and their planned release dates of December 2012 and 2013. The planned third movie will presumably be released in December 2014. No suggested subtitles for it have appeared (expect fan suggestions such as ' The Search for Plot ' and ' There and Back Again and Back Again as ...